Alcohol isn’t a Solution

Well, being a homogeneous mixture chemically composed of only one phase, technically it is.  But I think we both know what I mean.

Yes.  I’m afraid I recently downloaded the NHS “drink tracker app”.  Needless to say, it lit up like a fucking Chinese Stock Market heatmap.  Oh dear.  “Don’t let drink sneak up on you”, the NHS are telling me.  Well, it did.  And it ran off with my girlfriend.  But I’m going down fighting.

Oh.
Oh.

Honesty.  Now there’s a strong word.  And quite frightening, if like me you have at points greased your path with avoidances, silences and sometimes downright lies.  Lying is probably an addiction, after all.  In that it’s a fall-back mechanism.  A habit you form to find false comfort in painful situations.  Shame.  Embarrassment.  Awkwardness.

Possibly it’s my final addiction.  With an increase in honesty and self-examination has come a cut in the booze.  Because liars lie to themselves, as much as they lie to the people they love.  Like all addictions, it’s self-destructive and ultimately demeaning.  Like all addictions, it damages the people that love you.  Like all addictions, it starts as a wall to defend yourself, but quickly becomes a wall that pens you in.  Armour becomes a straight-jacket.  And similar tropes.

Like all addictions, it’s fucking hard to beat.  And painful.  And horrible.  But I have a solid KO record, and I don’t fancy its chances.  It’s going down in one of the early rounds.  Just watch.

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